The sun was on its final breaths as we entered the woods. None of us had felt anything yet and we marched on, heading towards an open field some minutes away. An hour before, I had wrestled myself into a jacket and coat, shot passed my family as I waved a swift bye and jumped onto my bike. Then I met up with my two friends, whom will be getting the title ‘A’ and ‘B’. After a quick visit to the shop to purchase snacks, water and sugary fruits in the case of the experience getting out of hand, we recollected on a bench a bit further away and had begun the munching of the tiny truffles. For me, apart from a mushroom-trip in Soweto, it had been the third time and the taste, though different, was disgustingly familiar. The hardest part always is to digest these tough, chewy and strong-flavoured mush of truffles that turn into one big glob and stick to your teeth. Licking it down from my upper palate, I took a grand swallow after ceaseless chewing and got the final bunch down in one go. For A, this was a second time, however his first had been with me and the drugs had hardly affected us as we meandered the paths of the woods. Consequently, it lead to the choosing of the strongest available on the particular site. And then B, he’d been quite the connoisseur of the subject, however outside would be a first for him and it had him on his toes.
Though the idea of facing the cold of a lingering winter’s temperature had been far from alluring, the idea of the woods had been solely mine. During my trips to other dimensions, I had become aware that the insides of rooms or sheds had become shrinking rooms filled with anxiety and fear. Being inside a confined space became a mental torture and made me feel entrapped. Uncomfortable. However, the second I stepped past the door opening, I was free. Outside with the wind breezing into my face, sounds of animals and the whooshing of trees as well as the fresh smell of freedom was a safe haven. Knowing this, my one and only condition of reentering the world of psychedelics was that it be outside. And not wanting to stumble upon night-goers, people walking their dogs or bumping into acquaintances, the forest near my house had been a great answer.
By the time we neared the mentioned field, my legs had gradually begun feeling numb. It begins in tiny doses and you hardly realise anything is happening, until your mind focuses on a specific part and you notice you begin finding it impossible to make out whether the ground beneath you is dried up sand or a pool of wet mud. Many things would appear wet, but rarely that was the case. Pinpointing my concentration to my legs and walking, I noticed I did so wobbling and that my legs were on half automatic. Interesting how the body takes over when the mind is completely elsewhere. And B sped up the procedure of transitioning to the other side as he rambled on and on about the changing sensations and surroundings which turned into bits becoming aware to me. A had more in common with me, both living in our own world with once in a while responding to what was seen, heard or felt. But mainly, we remained calm during the commencing of the trip with B sprinting through the topics.
Through an opening of trees, we entered the far-stretching field which was surrounded by more large trees. In the centre was a picnic-bench with a triangle roofed camping hut next to it. We all sat down and soon the effect had taken us on. B babbled endlessly as he described the dancing patterns on the field, the sky moving and the tingles in his body. Talkative as he was, he went on, and though half listening, I returned my focus to my body. Every few minutes, a nasty burp carrying a cloud with taste and smell of truffles exited my mouth. Pulses would shoot through my body as if I got shocked. It coincides with the feeling of dazing off and with a sudden spasm your heart-rate skyrockets and you’ve returned to regular world. This had been a moment which was incredibly important for me, as I struggle with letting go of control. Besides the occasional times I had a hit from the green plant and the alcoholic debauchery, this has been the only substance I managed to consume due to its relative mildness. Nonetheless, at this moment, to depart the regular world and my feeling of uncomfortableness, I had to let my body and mind know that it was okay. I inhaled the fresh outside air, breathed in calmly and let go. I eased myself into it, accepting the truffle and the way it affected me. Soon after, the pulsing shocks discontinued, the burps lessened and I admired the enchanting dancing of the trees.
Standing tall, the tops pierced through the sky and waved left and right. I reminisced and in a way saw them carrying buckets as I half swore they bounced the exact same way as the brooms from Fantasia. Truly, it was astonishing, wherever my eyes wandered, it danced in beautiful patterns and formed the smoothest skin turning the dancing figure into something genuine and real, however never daunting, it was always welcoming. A welcoming figure, wishing you dance along with it. Dirt and grass had been of interest and it was tangible, yet far from grasp as I sat glued on the bench with legs dangling, seemingly on the edge of a building as the ground appeared light-years away, but there was a burning yearning of touching it. Touching the soft, smooth skin of the earth that is grass, mud and all underneath. To touch the dancing tops of the trees, the sky and its fluffy clouds. Clouds that raced by and as if all three on the same wavelength, the second I diverted my attention to them, causing all else to be background again, my fellow space buddies had been gazing up at them and again, it was alluring and inviting. A moon brightened with the passing of a cloud shone on our bench creating a stunning stairway up. At the time a magnificent phenomenon. It was more than beautiful, it was mesmerising and breathtaking but mostly an experience far more satisfying than any movie in the fanciest cinema and for brief moments even views admired from mountain tops during travels.
After some moments of admiration of the surroundings, many hours passed of ceaseless babbling, cruising through too many inappropriate topics that I will leave unwritten as to not provoke karma and with it impending doom. A sudden thought went through my mind. Wetness, I had felt it in my pants. But, bamboozled once before, wetness in truth is dry, however it had been a while since I went for a pee and though reluctant I forced myself up and hobbled my way to a tree. When changing focus, one realises bits that had been in the background for a long time. Such here, my hands had tingles in them and moved with the strength of the worst case of arthritis, which in my hazy mind was caused by the magic truffles, however with the intellectual hindsight, hours on end outside with a lack of gloves in the freezing cold had been the true crippler. Nonetheless, I managed to unzip , whip out and aim towards a tiny sapling. One I wanted to touch and feel as it had seemed more alive than ever. Skin standing out with all else faded into the background. If it was a game, you knew with a glance you could interact with it, so I did. Curious eyes stung in my skull, poking forward and my mouth opened a bit as my hand reached forward. I stroked it and the exact second I did, I regained cognisance and brought my hand back to my body. Petting a tree.. Idiotic. Then a stream of relieving urine went out. A pee had never felt greater than this, a bladder filled to the brim had all at once been poured out and the feeling of alleviation and satisfaction was indescribable.
With a clearer head, I turned around and witnessed A and B doing an unwanted dance. Beyond their control, as they conversed away, one of them was rolling their neck over their shoulders whilst swinging his arms back and forth and the other bounced from his left leg to his right. Our bodies had most likely sensed the vanishing of sanity and took over to maintain a certain level of blood-flowing and warmth as the darkness and with it cold had taken over the field. Nonetheless, it was a hilarious thought and sight to witness the two dunces bounce about under the moonlight. With the rising of energy and a phase switch in the high, we had gone for a walk and laughed at about anything and everything we came upon. Cheerfully, B and I would call for A when finding something spectacular such as a loose plank with a mysterious hinge attached to it or a collection of mole’s hopes which I eagerly dug my hand into. A moment of confusion overwhelmed me when I believed to have lost the ability to read, which again in my clever hindsight might have been the lack of lighting in the dark corner of the restrooms. We cackled at a piece of paper attached to a bulletin and attempted to ascend the steep, slimy roof. Then we gathered again at the bench and sat our final moments of trip reminiscing the past seven or eight hours. I stared down onto my feet and for a change, the ground hadn’t appeared to be meters away. Before, the table had resembled that of a tower, however now, with the distance shortened it had been clear that the mental fog slowly faded away and with it we began sauntering to our bikes.
Along the walk, it became clear that many symptoms, such as slurred speech, had all been a result of the cold and we promised ourselves the continuation would be during a warmer season and we soon set off in different directions. Once home, I lay in bed feeling deeply at peace and with effects lingering I felt in a haven of soft feathers and drowsed off. These truffles had done a level of bonding in hours that in any other scenario would require months to mend and I felt grateful that the entirety of the night had gone smoothly and my anxiety had fucked off.
If you wish to attempt experimenting, yet are anxious and scared to dabble, my inbox on IG and Facebook as well as my email is open and I could be your guide into this world. I may not have the greatest knowledge or experience on highs, however I do with experimenting with soft-drugs when a mind and body is initially clashing with its effect and to being afraid of losing control. On such, I can advice you on how to cope with it and whether you should or shouldn’t.